I did a spell to bring back my ex boyfriend, but he’s gone even further away – what did I do wrong?

Posted by: on May 2, 2010

Mandy from Bideford in Devon (name and location changed for privacy) emailed me last night saying she’d performed a love spell to return her ex boyfriend. Unfortunately, it hadn’t achieved the desired effect – it had pushed him further away than ever.

“What did I do wrong?” she asked.

Mandy ran me through the spell she’d cast. It was a traditional witchcraft type spell which revolved around calling on the love goddess Aphrodite and making a parchment talisman.

At first, I couldn’t see much wrong with the spellworking she done. Until, that is, Mandy repeated the words of the chant she’d used. It was full of negative language. It used lines like “stay away no longer” and “don’t leave me sad and lonely.”

I think she’d tried too hard to create rhyming stanzas, which aren’t necessary anyway. When you use negative phrases in your chants, incantations or sigil requests, you typically get precisely what you don’t want!

In the above two lines, the operative words, from a magical and subconscious perspective, are “stay away” and “leave me”. The subconscious mind tends to take lines like that literally, attracting the opposite of your desire.

Therefore, it’s wise to make sure you only emphasize the positive aspects of your request. In Mandy’s case something simple along the following lines would have worked better:

“By the power of [whatever energy force you're calling on], bring my ex lover back to me, return them to me by the next new moon.”

It’s very much the same as when a young child is playing underneath a table. If you say, “don’t bang your head,” nine times out of ten the child’s subconscious mind will only hear “bang your head.” Again, the warning will only bring the opposite of what you intended, leading to a bruised head and tears!

So, remember, next time you cast a spell, make sure the language can only be interpreted in a positive way – otherwise you might just attract what you don’t want…

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