We’ve had a total lack of rain for more than 8 weeks now in the East side of Paradise, and WE NEED RAIN!!! On the practical side of things, all of the plants have died in my garden (no gooseberries for me this year), and the katz are lying around like Bengal rugs.

It’s getting beyond a joke, and we’re running out of things to flop out in front of the TV and watch because it’s just too hot to do anything else.

So it’s time to take matters into our own hands. You have to be careful with these workings, because good old Mother Nature really doesn’t like you messing with her decisions, but when it all gets too much, you don’t really have much choice.

Before you start, an opened, upturned umbrella makes a good and inventive altar for these workings.

One of the workings you can try needs you to find a drawing or photo of the saddest person you can find. It should be a person that you don’t know, as you want to feel pure and unadulterated pity for the person to make the spell as strong as possible.

Place the photo in a bowl containing salt, weigh it down with a stone so that it can’t blow away, and then burn it. As you do this, call on the water nymphs to pierce the clouds so that the rain will fall freely to the ground. The idea behind this is that they take pity on the person too, and the Heavens will open to dilute his or her sadness, and also weaken the salt so that it doesn’t add to their misery.

Another method is to take a bowl outside, again fill it with water and add as much salt as you wish – the more salt you add, the more it will rain. After you have done this, you need to say: “Here is where the rain has its birth, Pour your bounty upon this parched Earth”. Hopefully you’ll be sensible with the amount of salt you add, as while we want a good downpour, we don’t want any hurricanes, ok?

Finally, frogs are meant to be able to alter the weather; you need 5 frogs (or if you don’t have them, you can draw them), and again either a pond where they live, or you can re-create one with a bowl of water which you place the frogs around. Call each one of them in their mission to make it rain, then sit back and wait. The croaking of happy frogs is meant to encourage rain – of course, if you’ve drawn them, you can always either just imagine the croaking, or you can find a recording and play it.

Ok, I’m off now to poke the frogs in my pond (gently) and see if I can get them to co-operate … Failing that, it looks like I’ll be spending yet another day in the shower …

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