Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud says she’s had it with ripped guys after her split with footballer Ashley Cole. Now she says she’d favor a pot-belly over an athletic physique. But I’ve got just the voodoo conjure recipe to bring Cheryl lasting romance and fidelity.

This is what I’d do for her: I’d fix up a voodoo love charm bag filled with angelica and spearmint, a sigil from unknown tongues, a lucky sixpence (for luck in love), love oil and and a conjure rod. I’d do some incantations over a cemetery grave and would instruct Cheryl to keep the charged-up items in the red flannel charm bag, which she would need to carry at all times.

This would attract the right kind of guy to the X Factor judge.

It would bring Cheryl someone who don’t go runnin’ off with every rooster in the barnyard. Someone she can depend on and who won’t cheat on her.

It would be a full-on TNT voodoo love spell performed in an old Victorian cemetery where I live in the east of England.

Cheryl is a nice girl. She deserves some luck in love and a voodoo love attractor spell would bring her that.

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