If you’re looking for THE knock ’em dead love spell, this is the one to go for. It has a success rate of 93%, and while sometimes it may take a little while to come to fruition, other times it strikes with lightning speed. It was passed to the Dok at a very high price by his mentor Earl Marlowe, but such is its power that Dok would’ve willingly (well, almost willingly) paid twice what Earl bartered with him.

“I’m a fool to myself” Earl said, chewing nonchalantly on a piece of licorice root. “You know what ya gettin’ here? This is the real deal, it comes from the Santeria, so you know it’s hell powerful, or maybe I should say shudderingly powerful,” he carried on, chuckling like a naughty schoolboy, and giving Dok a conspiratorial wink. “You catch my drift?”

The deal was struck. This is the working that Earl gave Dok…

To prepare for the Oshun love spell, you first need to cut out photos from magazines of people who are successful in life, and considered to be hot-to-trot. Choose pictures of people who are the same gender as yourself. You carefully study these photos to get behind the person’s gaze. Imagine how it feels to be considered extremely attractive. Soak up that charisma and animal magnetism like a thirsty sponge.

“Now,” said Earl, “this is the part that gives this spell an extra edge. Most people would just go for the obvious choices, like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp or George Clooney. Or Megan Fox, Keira Knightley or Scarlett Johansson for the ladies. The extra ingredient that you won’t find mentioned anywhere else is that you don’t just go for the pretty face – think of famous people with what some would consider quirks which you happen to find attractive. So here you open up to the Helena Bonham-Carters, Winona Ryders and Lucy Liu types. Or the Edward Nortons, Heath Ledgers and James Dean types for the men.”

Earl believed that by using this method, you absorb the power of the celebrity you choose to focus on to the point that you almost become them in some part. In short, you build up an unshakable conviction that you are as sexy and charismatic as that celebrity.

Earl then advised that you do this “celebrity bathing” for seven days before you begin the ritual:

“Once you’ve soaked up that star’s charisma, you perform the voodoo Love spell. You wanna do this when the hands on the clock are risin’ and when the moon is waxing. But if the moon ain’t waxing, it don’t matter too much – only punk-asses worry ’bout that [Earl liked to provoke a reaction]. It’s the clock hands that you really need to take into account. So between the half past and the hour. Once you’ve got your timings right, you set up your workspace and do an opening ritual. Then you do your stuff using maybe ylang ylang incense, and red candles dressed with patchouli oil. You know how it goes, just do what feels right.

Lastly you cordially invite Oshun, goddess of love in Santeria, to overshadow you. You can just call her name and ask her to enter you. The details don’t matter, just riff as you go along. It’s having the right feelin’ that counts the most.”

Earl was known for being a bit off-hand when it came to describing rituals, probably because he didn’t want other people to steal his secrets. So to make that a little more instructive, you can rub the oils on your body or use them in a spiritual bath, and you can dress your candles with them (remembering to check that you’re not allergic to the oils, and that when you dress the candles, you draw all that lovin’ energy towards you)

The main thing is to improvise, and follow your intuition with this one, and make it as personal to yourself as possible. There aren’t any rules.

Once you have done, you do a closing ritual. All you have to do is wait for your voodoo love spell to do its work – and for the lover of your dreams to appear. Just keep an eye out for it. Love appears in the strangest places; on the subway, at a party, at the library or the corner store. Nobody knows where it will come from,. So just be ready!

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