I was having lunch in Jerk City, over there on Wardour Street in London. Guy comes up to me saying: “I’m livin’ in bad luck city, man, I gotta shake that jinx…it’s taking me down, nothing goin’ good.”

I said: “Christ, man, I’m trying to eat my lunch here! You comin’ over givin’ me the jive. I don’t eat, I don’t talk. Need my fuel.”

He says: “Sorry, Doc. I sit quiet while you eat.”

“Stop right there,” I said, “you can go over to my man at the counter and get me a Supermalt with cup of ice…”

So he did.

Once I’d eaten I listened to his story.

“Doc, I got the bad luck dogging me. Nothing I do works out. Turned out my girlfriend had a girlfriend and she ran off with her, said she liked it better with her. I lost my job through no fault of my own. They been laying people off for months, you know, the cuts and that. Up to now I was lucky. But then I did a dumb thing, I lost control of the machinery I was operating, trashed it. I dunno what came over me. I been working at that plant for 5 years. Then my brother go and rip me off for a grand – treats me like I ain’t his brother. And I been on a long losing streak on the dogs and the horses. I tell you, if there’s a thunderstorm I just know I’m gonna get struck by lighting – even if it’s right in the heart of Oxford Street that lightnin’ gonna single me out.”

I said: “Right, gotcha. But I’m gonna need another Supermalt. You run on up to the counter get me another one from my man – and don’t forget the ice!”

So he did.

When he came back, I said: “Well, there ain’t no doubt you gotta shake that jinx. But I’ll have to look into it first. I’ll do a card reading, see what the spirits gotta say about it, and get the remedy to get you a fast train outa bad luck city. So don’t you worry. We’ll fix up a kick ass Shake That Jinx working and put things to rights.”

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