A cold snap has hit the UK with a good deal of ice and frost, along with snow showers. It's bitingly cold. Last night, when I walked back to my car from the place I was visiting, it was iced over. It took me some time to clear the windscreens.
But as I cleared the last bits of ice from the back window, I looked over into the darkness of a nearby park - and I saw the cause of this big freeze up. Standing beside a tree at the entrance to the park was a huge frost giant. It was Jack Frost himself! And he was blowing his icy breath across the houses and cars nearby, and no doubt planing to cover the whole city before he was done.
I marched into the park, saying, "Hey! Jack Frost! You're messing with Doktor Snake, you need to get yourself outta town before I kick you out!"
Big mistake. Jack turned his icy gaze on me and came after me. I ran deeper into the park to hide amongst some trees. But Jack blew his blistering cold breath over the trees, nearly freezing me to the large oak tree I was sheltering under.
In the end, I had no choice but to face old Jack.
I walked out from behind the oak and pulled out my trusty old Zippo lighter and said: "Jack, this is a magick lighter. It doesn't just light cigarettes or gas stoves, it can burn down whole buildings and melt the armour on a tank. If I wanted to get into Fort Knox it could burn a hole in the doors. You get what I'm saying Jack Frost? If you don't leave town I'm gonna turn your ice to hot water and personally take a bath in it!"
With that I lit the magick Zippo. Jack stared at the flickering flame for a moment, then looked at me and said: "That's no more than a baby flame, it wouldn't set a hay bail alight in the heat of summer. I'm not scared of your Zippo, voodoo man!"
"Jack, I understand your position," I replied. "But do you really want to take the chance? This Zippo will make hot water of you with just one flick of the flint."
Jack thought for a second, then began backing away.
"This is one time I'm going to let it go," he said. "As far as I'm concerned you're a lowdown, double-dealing voodoo man. But I don't want to get turned into a running stream, so I'm going where I'm more welcome. I'm going back to Iceland."
With that Jack Frost marched off into the night...and it's guaranteed that the UK will warm up by the weekend!