According to the New York Daily News, Sandra Bullock is dragging her heels on filing divorce papers against cheating biker husband Jesse James. She’s worried he will reveal her secrets (whatever they may be).
A source told RadarOnline: “She’s been worried that if she drops divorce papers on [Jesse James] now, he’ll want revenge and will try to harm her reputation.”
Well, I’ve written a letter to Sandra suggesting she hit Jesse with a voodoo amnesia spell to wipe his memory. That way he can’t spill her secrets to all and sundry.
This is what I wrote:
C/O 3 Arts Entertainment, Inc.
9460 Wilshire Boulevard
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
Just a quick note to offer my sympathies about you problems with Jesse – being cheated on and so on. But I’d also like to share with you a practical solution to the issues you have.
I hear Jesse might lose it if you file divorce papers on him – get into a rage and take revenge by publicly revealing stuff you’d rather stayed private. Not the act of an honorable man, and hardly justified considering his months-long affair with the tattooed Nazi Michelle McGee.
Anyway, all this could be remedied using a voodoo spell – one to wipe Jesse’s memory, thus stopping him spilling any secrets about you. Here’s what you do:
Source the following ingredients:
- Marriage Oil – puts relationships on an even keel (even if you don’t want Jesse back, an amicable split would be preferable).
- Blazing Star Root – causes mental derangement, but used sparingly will cause a degree of memory loss (I suggest you go overboard for full memory wipe).
- Satan’s Ram Candle – A dynamite charge of extra power for the ritual.
Once you’ve collected the ingredients together, you’d need to perform a swamp voodoo opening rite. All you need to do is clap to the four cardinal directions – east, south, west, and north – and say: “Let the conjure begin!”
Then light the Satan’s Ram Candle and rub the Marriage Oil into the Blazing Star Root. While doing this, chant the following:
“Forget what you’ve heard and seen, Jesse,
Let it fade into the night.
Your memory wiped clean,
Nothing left to make you mad.”
Not only will this stop Jesse in his tracks, it will also empower you. You’ll feel more in control. And that will be a big benefit for you down the line.
Good luck with everything.