So you’ve managed to get out of a relationship that was a ton of trouble. Now you just want to kick back, heave a big sigh of relief, and thank your lucky stars that you got out in one piece.

You might even sip a reflective glass of good ol’ Jack Daniels as you count your blessings.

But don’t go chucking out the empty JD bottle!

Why? Because you can use it in a voodoo spell to make 100% sure that your ex is gone for good. It won’t hex the hell out of them. But it will just make sure that:


So this is what you do. Firstly, you need to get a piece of your ex-lover’s clothing – there’s bound to be a stray sock or something laying around. Place it in your empty bottle. Then using a piece of parchment paper (thick art paper will do just fine), write down his or her name.

You can add words that feel suitable to you, like:

Scram, vamoosh, be gone forever.

….whatever comes to mind and feels powerful enough to sum up your feelings.

Place this in the bottle too.

If you happen to have a sip or two of liquor left, you can add it to the mix as a thank you to the spirits for helping you. Sprinkle in a little sulfur, salt and red pepper, then give it a little swirl around, and as you do so, say:

“(name), be gone from my Life,
Take your hassles and strife,
Leave your place in my heart,
I seek a new start”

Let this mixture do its work for nine days, then take it to a stream or some running water and throw it in. As your bottle of magick floats away, so will all trace of your ex, and you can look forward to starting dating again. Hopefully with better luck! And you’ve made much better use of that old JD bottle than turning it into some tacky lamp that would only remind you of them anyway…

NOTE: Being a bad-ass voodoo man, Doktor Snake typically didn’t care for T.A.G. (They. Are. Gone). Typically, he put it another way. He said:

T.A.G. Don’t tag ’em, whack ’em. Script the tombstone, hurl ’em in the ground…D.A.G. Dead And Gone…

But he tends to take things to the max….

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